Our social environment has an enormous impact on our habits, health, beliefs, and even our financial income. Most of us spend little time thinking about those in our social circle, but the truth is that these people represent one of the most powerful forces in our lives that will have a major impact on shaping us as people. The power of the social environment influences our behaviors, opinions, attitudes, beliefs, and ultimately our results. Whether we realize it or not, we should choose wisely whom we decide to associate with.
It is easy to understand how proximity impacts relationships, yet most people do not think about the power and the importance of the people they spend the most time around actually having on them. The Jim Rohn quote, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This rings true and has ample science to back it up. Think about yourself, I know my good friends all have similar interests, hobbies, personalities, taste in clothing, and even work ethic. I can pinpoint beliefs and traits that I developed from my parents and other family members.
While it is common sense that the physical distance or proximity between people has a direct influence on if they form friendships or romantic relationships. Think about your best friends growing up and they were likely the kids that lived closest to you, or you sat next to in class. They call this the propinquity effect, and that is just a big word for being physically close to someone or something.
In his book ‘The Compound Effect’ Darren Hardy writes, “According to research by social psychologist Dr. David McClelland of Harvard, [the people you habitually associate with] determine as much as 95 percent of your success or failure in life”. Many examples of how we emulate the close exist; research shows that the people closest to us have a huge effect on our health goals. If your friends are obese, that increases the likelihood that you will also be obese by 45 percent. On the other side a study published in Nature Communications found that people are inspired by the workout habits of others in their social networks, and that exercise is “socially contagious.” Science has also shown that roommates in college have similar GPA’s.
Research suggests that people within a specific group tend to become more similar over time, from the way they look to the way their brain functions. Our brains are wired for socializing, and they have grown to flourish on connections with other people. This will have a profound impact on our personal growth and happiness, and it demonstrates why it is so important to surround ourselves with individuals who can help us develop positive patterns.
Jim Collins believes the most important question that we ask ourselves when looking at our personal trajectory has to do with, “the who” we surround ourselves with.
· Who you spend your time with.
· Who you choose to spend your life with.
· Who you choose to work with.
Considering this information, we should be intentional about who we allow in our social environment. We should not be dependent on circumstances like proximity and consciously decide which opinions, attitudes, and life-philosophies you allow to influence your life. This can be difficult when the negative people are family members or co-workers that we do not get to choose.
In the workplace, most of us do not get to handpick our co-workers, yet these are people we spend massive chunks of time with. The behaviors and attitudes of these individuals will greatly influence us, and we should be aware of this. If we are in a workplace environment that is negatively impacting us, we should make an effort to be a catalyst for change or remove ourselves from that environment.
So, what about work ethics? Leaders influence fundamental beliefs, demonstrate what integrity, honesty and respect are within an organization as well as set the tone when it comes to work ethic. Humans are social creatures; we are very tribal and that is how humans have been able to survive for so long in this dangerous world. Being a part of the tribe is particularly important to us and we naturally want to conform to that tone that has been set. Those leading the tribe should always be considering the impact of individuals brought into the group as well as the influence they themselves have.
Recently our organization was conducting entry level interviews and a supervisor jokingly said to me, “I feel like I’m interviewing to find my new best friend.” I told him that in a way he was. I have often expressed to my team that when we are hiring, we are marrying someone after only one or two dates, and I passionately believe hiring is the most crucial factor in trying to build and maintain a high performing organization. We need to make good hires and when we are wrong, we need to act quickly as well, by removing those individuals who are counterproductive to what your organization is working to become.
Surround yourself with the type of people you aspire to be, find people you admire, and it will be more likely that you will adopt their behaviors that have led to their success. As leaders we should take special thought and care to design a workplace environment that recognizes the power of proximity, and help foster positive relationships between employees, as well as understand the influence they have on one another.
You will rise or fall to the level of the people you surround yourself with. Find people who love, support, and empower you, seek people that boost your self-esteem and push you to become the best version of yourself. Surround yourself with people that you can learn from, emulate, and who will support your growth and encourage you to do hard things. If the people surrounding you are not doing these things, you should seek out a new tribe, because the power of proximity is working against you, and you are better off alone!
Comments